When Your Nervous System Runs the Show (and What It’s Costing You)

Most women I work with can hold it together like professionals. We’ve spent decades doing it. Careers, families, caregiving, recovery, grief — we’ve handled more than most people will ever understand.

But here’s the truth no one told us:
At some point your nervous system stops asking for your attention and starts demanding it.

And when it does, it doesn’t give a damn about your schedule, your responsibilities, or your carefully curated “I’ve got this” persona.

It shows up how it wants.

For me, it looks like:

-irritability

-impatience

-brain fog

-hypervigilance

-a body that feels braced for impact

-exhaustion that sleep can’t fix

And the worst part?

You can look absolutely “fine” on the outside while you’re falling apart on the inside.

If you’ve ever thought, Why can’t I calm the fuck down?, let me say this clearly:

You’re not broken.
Your body is doing exactly what it believes it must do to keep you alive.

Your nervous system isn’t dramatic or overreacting.
It’s overloaded.

And overloaded systems don’t whisper. They scream.

The Lie We Were Sold

Women were told to regulate ourselves with:

-gratitude

-resilience

-a strong mindset

-being positive

-being “self-aware”

Those things help, sure.
But they don’t touch a nervous system that’s in survival mode.

When your body is lit up like a Christmas tree, affirmations won’t regulate shit.

You know what does help?

Stillness.
Space.
Safety.
Breath.
Regulated beings (like horses).
Environments that don’t demand a damn thing from you.

This is why the desert hit me so hard.
It’s quiet enough for your system to finally stop scanning.
The horses don’t judge or rush you.

They don’t need you to perform.
They respond to truth, not pressure.

And when your nervous system experiences that kind of presence…
You feel it everywhere.

What Happens When Your System Finally Exhales

Women tell me:

“I didn’t realize how much I was holding.”
“I thought I was managing until I wasn’t.”
“I forgot what calm feels like.”
“I didn’t know my body could feel like this.”

Because regulation isn’t a mindset.
It’s a state.

You can’t think your way into it.
You have to experience it.

And once you do?
Everything shifts:

*Your decisions get clearer

*Your relationships soften

*Your cravings lose power

*Your recovery deepens

*Your reactivity drops

*Your resilience solidifies

*Your self-trust grows

This is why I’m returning to Apache Springs — and why I’m bringing a group of women with me.

Not to “fix” anyone.
Not to “transform” anyone.
But to create an environment where women can finally land.

Because when your nervous system lands, everything else finally can too.